


Five Times Gabriel Didn't Suck That Dick.....And The One Time He Did

by Aria_Lerendeair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5+1 Things, Blowjobs, But secretly (not-so-secretly) has a crush on Sam, Gabriel gets around, Gratuitous mention of blowjobs, M/M, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:25:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the tumblr post - </p><p>“I didn’t suck his dick.” Means 5 different things depending on which word you emphasize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Gabriel Didn't Suck That Dick.....And The One Time He Did

**Author's Note:**

> LOL, have a nice little crackfic between all of my banging!! 
> 
> Here's the post if you want it: http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/post/143218253110/just-shower-thoughts-i-didnt-suck-his-dick

  1. **_I_** didn’t suck his dick!



 

Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Castiel. His brother raised his eyebrows and Gabriel huffed, because maybe he deserved a little bit of censure there. But only a little bit! And this time it wasn’t even his fault!

 

“Gabriel…”

 

“Come on,” Gabriel protested, whining a little bit. “ ** _I_** didn’t suck his dick!”

 

“Yet you are implying that someone did. And since you flirt with him the most…”

 

Gabriel raised a finger and glared a little bit at Castiel. “Just because I flirt up a storm with old Crow-crow does not mean I want to bone him, and or have my mouth on his dick.”

 

Castiel wrinkled his nose. “Crowley doesn’t like it when you call him that.”

 

“I’m aware,” Gabriel said, his voice dry. “That’s why I do it.”

 

“Well, someone-”

 

“Yeah, _someone_ ,” Gabriel said, emphasizing the word. “Someone that was not me. And never would be me, okay bro?”

 

“Well,” Castiel said, glaring at Gabriel. “If not you, then who?”

 

Gabriel opened his mouth and then shut it, frowning. That was a good point. He had no idea who, but someone had clearly been on their knees in front of Crowley when they’d been caught under the bleachers.

 

Castiel sighed and looked at the ceiling. “Gabriel if it wasn’t you…”

 

“It wasn’t!”

 

“Then who?” Castiel pushed.

 

Gabriel threw his hands up in the air and stalked away from Cas. “Hell if I know! I just know it wasn’t me!”

 

Castiel gave him a skeptical look, but nodded and walked away.

 

Gabriel flopped into the couch and stared at the ceiling. Well, it wasn’t like he had never sucked Crowley’s dick before, it just hadn’t been him. He didn’t have an exhibitionist streak anymore. _Well_. Not with someone like Crowley.

 

There was only one person on earth that he would happily be caught sucking the dick of in any place, at any time. Not that said person would ever be interested in a dick sucking from him, but hey, he could dream.

 

Later, of course, the news broke that the person who had been the one doing the dick sucking was Alaistair and Gabriel wrinkled his nose and made a mental note that he was never going to suck old Crow-crow’s dick again. Not ever.

 

But see? It wasn’t him. This time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. I **_didn’t_** suck his dick!



 

 

“Why does everyone always assume that I am the one who did the dick sucking when it happens and no one knows who?” Gabriel asked, settling into the lunchroom seat across from Dean Winchester. Dean’s little brother immediately choked and glared at him and Gabriel winked at Sam.

 

He may or may not have been sitting here just so he could be a little bit closer to Sam, since he definitely wasn’t smart enough to have any sort of classes with him. Gabriel gave Dean a glare when he just kept chewing his way through a slice of pizza. “You’re being very mean right now, you know that, Winchester?”

 

Dean snorted. “You trying to tell me that you expect me to be anything else? Come on now Gabriel!”

 

“Okay, but come on. I didn’t! I fucking couldn’t!” Gabriel protested.

 

“Why not? You seem content enough to do it to everyone else!”

 

Gabriel looked over at Sam and didn’t flinch at the stubborn look Sam was giving him. Of course that’s what Sam thought of him. “Contrary to popular belief, I am rather picky about the people I end up sleeping with, _Sam_. And as I seem to recall, _kiddo_ , I haven’t sucked yours, so you might not be one to talk.”

 

“Come on, break it up you two,” Dean said, throwing a dorito at Sam. “Gabriel, if you weren’t the one doing it, and let’s face it, it’s not like Lucifer has many offers-”

 

“He’s my cousin! Like, not even second-cousin, where I might be able to justify it, not that I would, but he’s my cousin. Also, he creeps me the fuck out!” Gabriel said, glaring at Dean.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and leaned back in seat. “That’s not what the rumors are saying.”

 

“Believe me I know,” Gabriel growled, taking a bite of his own pizza. “I know far too well.”

 

Sam huffed and dug back into his lunch and glared at the sandwich. “Why don’t you just say that it wasn’t you?”

 

Gabriel glanced over at Sam. “Rumors don’t work like that, as much as I wished they did.”

 

Sam shrugged. “You don’t know until you try.”

 

“Try?” Gabriel asked with a laugh. “Try what? Standing on the table and announcing to the cafeteria that I didn’t suck Lucifer’s dick and never, ever will.”

 

“Well,” Sam started. “I don’t think I’d word it like that. You’d sound like you’re protesting too much.”

 

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, eating another dorito. “Why are we talking about dick sucking? Seriously, this conversation is so gay it hurts.”

 

“Because,” Sam said, reaching out and punching Dean in the shoulder. “Gabriel is your best friend and you’re supposed to support him with this shit!”

 

Dean groaned. “No, no, this does not fall under the best friend definition.”

 

Gabriel tapped on his jaw and pushed his lunch towards Dean and Sam. He stood up on the table and cleared his throat.

 

“Oh no,” Dean said, staring up at Gabriel. “Gabriel…”

 

“Attention everyone!” Gabriel said, raising his voice. “I would just like it to be known that I have not done any recent dick sucking, much to the detriment of my own junk!” A few snickers started and he grinned, watching the teachers walk closer. “So for those of you who are passing around rumors that I have ended my dry spell, this is sadly inaccurate. All I have to say in my own defense is that I didn’t suck his dick! Thank you for your time!”

 

Gabriel hopped off the table and threw a wink at Sam and Dean as he was taken away by the teachers. The detention was going to be absolutely worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. I didn’t **_suck_** his dick!



 

“It was just a handjob between buddies!” Gabriel said with a grin, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked over at Balthazar.

 

Sam groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. “Can, can you at least put boxers or something on?”

 

“Why?” Balthazar asked, raising an eyebrow. “We’re planning on finishing as soon as you leave again.”

 

Sam flushed and glared at Balthazar. “I didn’t need to know that!”

 

“Agreed, he definitely didn’t,” Gabriel said, crossing his arms over his chest to glare at Balthazar. He kept down the small voice in the back of his head that wanted to know if Sam had even looked at him for more than a few seconds, since they were both naked.

 

Sam rolled his eyes and stalked towards the showers. “Well, keep your _‘handjobs between buddies’_ to yourselves and be done by the time I’m finished in the shower.”

 

Gabriel watched Sam stalk away and didn’t feel Balthazar come up behind him to wrap long arms around him. He huffed. “Well that killed the mood.”

 

Balthazar hummed and let his fingers trail lower, teasing Gabriel as he pressed a kiss to his neck. “I think the mood killer was more that it was Sam Winchester than someone interrupting us.”

 

Gabriel tensed up and waited. “I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“I think you do,” Balthazar said, pressing a kiss behind Gabriel’s ear. “But I’m more than willing to ignore it.”

 

Gabriel hummed and let his head fall back. “I suppose that I could be persuaded…”

 

~!~

 

“Did you have to be doing that in the locker room?” Sam asked, glaring at Gabriel over his lunch.

 

Gabriel shrugged. “It was convenient. We could shower right afterward.”

 

“Or you could suck his dick at home,” Sam grumbled, taking a bite of his sandwich. “You know, where most people do that sort of stuff?”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I didn’t _suck_ his dick, Sammich.”

 

“It’s _Sam_.”

 

“Sammster,” Gabriel taunted.

 

“ _Sam_ ,” Sam growled.

 

“Samsquatch!”

 

“Gabriel…”

 

“Hey, that’s my name!” Gabriel protested, pouting at Sam.

 

Sam rolled his eyes and refocused on his sandwich.

 

 

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. I didn’t suck **_his_** dick!



 

“Oh no,” Gabriel said, pulling back and sitting on his heels. “Come on…”

 

“Finish me off already!”

 

Gabriel scowled at Crowley and stood, pointing to the sound of teachers approaching. “While you’ve been enjoying a world class blowjob, teachers are coming, now come on, we need to fucking book it!”

 

Crowley noticed a yelp as Gabriel dashed past and he watched none other than Samandriel take off after Gabriel, struggling to pull his pants up. Hm, so they hadn’t been alone down here, huh? He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and slipped it into his mouth and tucked himself away.

 

A few new rumors always made for some fun, and he did owe Gabriel for not finishing off before they had gotten caught.

 

He raised an eyebrow at the teacher who stopped in front of him and glared at his cigarette. Crowley pointed to where Gabriel and Samandriel were hauling ass out of the tunnel. “Not the one you were looking for, today.”

 

The teacher promised him a write up and turned to hurry after the other two boys and Crowley smirked, lighting his cigarette to take a long drag of it.

 

“Novak!”

 

Gabriel froze at the voice behind him and groaned, pressing a hand to his face. He should never have run, that was fucking stupid.

 

The principle came up behind him and Gabriel spun, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “You rang?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at the other man.

 

“You think you’re funny? I’ll make sure that you’re suspended this time! Delinquency!”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Right, uh-huh.”

 

The principle narrowed his eyes and leaned in close. “I’m obligated not to give a shit about your reputation in this school, Novak, but if I catch you on your knees for that boy again, I’ll have you kicked out of this institution faster than your father can pull out his checkbook to fix things.”

 

Gabriel scowled and tightened his hands into fists in his pockets. “Got it,” he said, staring at the floor.

 

The principle stalked off and Gabriel met Samandriel’s terrified eyes in the crowd that had surrounded him. He shook his head and walked towards his locker, his shoulders hanging. _Fuck_. He knew better than this.

 

By the next morning, the fact that he had apparently gotten caught giving Samandriel a blowjob in the tunnels during third period was school-wide knowledge. Gabriel didn’t even bother punching Crowley when the fucker smirked at him and said that was what he deserved for not finishing his job.

 

Gabriel flopped down at the lunch table and he could feel Sam glaring at him. He sighed and looked up from his arms for a minute. “Can we not do the judgemental dance again, today, Sam? I’m honestly not up for it.”

 

Sam opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, blinking at Gabriel in surprise. “So you didn’t…”

 

“No,” Gabriel said, sighing again. “It wasn’t his dick I was sucking. And no, I’m not going to tell you who I was blowing, it’s none of your damn business. He set me up, and I just need to wait for the next scandal to happen to this shit’ll blow over.”

 

Sam frowned and looked down at the salad in front of him. “Must have been Crowley then,” he commented, glancing over at the other boy.

 

Gabriel gave a hoarse laugh. “You’ve always been far too fucking observant, Sam.”

 

Sam shrugged and took another bite of his salad. “That and I know Crowley is a douche and you two have had a thing in the past. Was either him or my brother, and while Dean’s a dick, he’s not _that_ much of a dick.”

 

“Hey!” Dean protested, scowling at Sam.

 

Despite himself, the shitty two days that he had had, and the fact that his biggest crush was, mercifully, not mocking him, Gabriel couldn’t prevent bursting into laughter at the brothers. He’d missed laughing and it felt good, especially after the day he’d had.

 

“You know he’s right, Dean,” Gabriel said, pointing a spork at him. “Don’t even try to argue at this point.”

 

Dean glared at him, but went back to his sandwich, so Gabriel counted it as a win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. I didn’t suck his **_dick_**!



 

“You are shit at denial, you know that, Gabriel?” Dean asked, shuddering as Gabriel pressed in closer to him, sliding one leg between his thighs.

 

“So are you,” Gabriel growled, biting down on the lobe of Dean’s ear. “Don’t even try to pretend I’m not a substitute for my brother.”

 

“Dude,” Dean growled. “We are not talking about our brothers while we do this.”

 

“Why not?” Gabriel purred, his voice low as he rocked against Dean, grinding into him slowly. “Why, are you afraid that you’ll lose it early and all over me, Dean?”

 

Dean grabbed Gabriel’s hips and pushed him back, glowering at him. “Fucking hitting below the belt there, asswipe?”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I thought that was the fucking point of the two of us fooling around, Princess? What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?"

 

Dean scowled. "That is not why we're doing this. We're doing this because I like orgasms, you like orgasms-"

 

"So why not like them together?" Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow. "I thought that's what we were doing until you turned around and got cold fucking feet on me, Winchester."

 

"Fuck off," Dean said, glaring at Gabriel. "You leave Cas the hell out of this. It has, it has nothing to do with him."

 

"It has everything to fucking do with him. He's just not paying attention, too busy pining - what with you fucking most of the student population-"

 

"What?" Dean asked, dropping his hands away from Gabriel, staring at him. "Cas, Cas doesn't...doesn't fucking _pine_."

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Believe me, Dean, you're the only one that doesn't notice him pining for you. I haven't figured out exactly why you fucking ignore him, or I'd put him out of his misery and tell him you're not interested..." he trailed off and studied the thunderstruck look on Dean's face. "Fucking christ, you actually _didn’t_ know."

 

Dean shook his head and swallowed, hard. "He's, he didn't, I mean."

 

Gabriel raised both of his eyebrows. "Try that again."

 

"Fuck you," Dean said, mostly on reflex. "He's not interested in, in-"

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes again. "Are you honestly that fucking stupid, Dean? He's not interested in anyone else, you're right. But that's because he's interested in your dumb ass!"

 

Dean blinked.

 

"Fuck it, since I'm clearly not getting laid right now, I might as well get _you_ laid," Gabriel said. "Look. Cas has been in love with you for fucking ever. And I'm not kidding when I say that. It's been forever."

 

Dean opened his mouth. "He..."

 

Gabriel stared at him. "Wants you. Six ways to Sunday. But he also wants you to be happy. So, if you never want him, he's trying to make his peace with that."

 

Dean jerked back like he had been hit and scrambled off of his bed. "I need, I need to see him."

 

Gabriel leaned back on Dean's bed and sighed. "At least take him on a date before you go and deflower him, would you?"

 

Dean flipped him off on his way out the door and Gabriel tried not to smile at least a little as the Impala roared out of the driveway. Gabriel picked up his shirt off of the floor and slipped it on, following with his flip flops as he headed downstairs.

 

"What'd you do to scare Dean off?"

 

Gabriel froze and turned to look at Sam, sitting on the kitchen table, focused on his schoolwork. He sighed. "I didn't. He just realized what he actually wanted."

 

Sam turned his attention to Gabriel and raised an eyebrow. "And that wasn't you? I thought everyone wanted you. You two closed the door, I assumed that you'd be-"

 

Gabriel shook his head. "Didn't even manage to get naked before he realized it was a mistake."

 

Sam rolled his eyes. "Well, there's one dick on this planet that apparently you won't get to suck."

 

Gabriel laughed, a sad, harsh sound and turned away from Sam. "More than one. Not like it matters anymore with..." he trailed off and shook his head.  

 

"What?" Sam asked, frozen as Gabriel let himself out of the house. He blinked and shook his head, wondering if he had heard that right. Gabriel could, and did have anyone that he wanted, on a regular basis. Who the fuck had been crazy enough to turn him down?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

+1. Okay, I did suck his dick.

 

 

Sam studied Gabriel as he dug into his pizza and Skittles for lunch. Gabriel hadn't been like his usual self for days now. He'd barely pranked Dean and he, and he had kept his mocking over Dean and Cas announcing they were dating to himself. It was very, very un-Gabriel-like. Which meant that something was wrong.

 

He sighed and resigned himself to the mockery that he was sure to get when he showed up and tried to get Gabriel to talk about feelings. Sam left Dean and Cas cuddled up on the couch and headed over, surprised to find Gabriel sitting on the couch, a tub of popcorn on the table in front of him, a movie on.

 

Sam sighed and walked closer to Gabriel. "All right. Enough is enough. Dean wants his best friend back, and he's too distracted by Cas to not know that something's going on with you, so I'm your shitty Dean substitute for the moment."

 

"You aren't a shitty substitute," Gabriel said, looking away from the movie long enough to look at Sam.

 

"Well fuck," Sam cursed, walking towards Gabriel to sit at the other end of the couch. "That bad, huh? I mean. I set you up there, and you didn't even bother to take it?"

 

Gabriel shrugged and turned his attention back to the movie. "I'll be back to my usual self on Monday."

 

Sam raised both of his eyebrows. "So what are you going to do, mope yourself into oblivion the next two days?"

 

Gabriel scowled at Sam and squinted at him. "What the hell are you doing here, anyways? Shouldn't you be studying?"

 

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up, walking towards the kitchen. "Where do you keep the booze?"

 

"You're too young to drink!" Gabriel snapped.

 

"So are you!" Sam said, opening a couple of cabinets. "Hasn't stopped you before, right?"

 

Gabriel sighed and pressed his hands to his face. Oh yes, there was absolutely no way that having alcohol and his crush in close proximity was not going to backfire on him. Not at all. "Oh for fuck's sake. Just grab us a couple of beers out of the fridge."

 

Sam did as Gabriel suggested, bringing them back to where Gabriel was sprawled on the couch. He offered one to the senior and sat down across the couch again. "So do I have to wait until the alcohol kicks in to ask you again?"

 

Gabriel took a long drag of the beer, and then another before looking at Sam. He raised an eyebrow.

 

"Asshole," Sam grumbled, sipping at his own beer, settling back down into the couch cushions to wait. "You know that Dean is fucking worried about you, right?"

 

Gabriel snorted. "Like Dean has had time to think about anything other than getting his hands down my brother's pants the past few days."

 

"He's your friend, asswipe," Sam said. "That's what friends fucking do. Should I use Castiel instead and say that he mentioned you were being uncharacteristically quiet and introspective?" he mimicked Castiel and stared at Gabriel.

 

Gabriel burst out laughing, almost against his will. "Fuck, you're a little too good at that."

 

"Don't change the subject," Sam said, smiling as he sipped at his beer again. "Come on, Gabriel, Dean's still going to be your best friend, even if he's dating your little brother. So what gives? Find someone else. Move on. Are you in love with him?"

 

"No," Gabriel said, smiling again with a snort. "Your brother and I would absolutely kill each other if we were ever dating. It'd be like magnesium. Bright, hot, blinding and gone a few heartbeats later."

 

Sam blinked. "Did you, did you just use a chemistry reference to explain how a relationship would be?"

 

Gabriel yawned. "Despite my delinquency of skipping classes, I actually only skip ones I know I can afford to. Haven't missed a Spanish class all year, except for that one day I overslept."

 

Sam stared at Gabriel as he took another drag from the bottle, tilting his head and staring at him. "So what the hell has you so damn bent out of shape, Gabriel?"

 

Gabriel wanted to tell him. He did. But he also didn't want to turn around and be completely rejected by Sam a minute later. That'd just make him feel fucking worse, and Dean would probably deck him.

 

"Gabriel," Sam called, sitting up a little bit. "Come on. No more teasing, or mockery. Tell me what's wrong. I won't even tell Dean if you don't want me to."

 

Gabriel took several messy swallows from the bottle and put it down on the table, sitting up on the couch to face and stare at Sam. "Look. I could tell you what is wrong. I could. But I actually fucking like your nerdy ass, and I don't feel like having you leave me in the dust until you graduate in a few years. So let me just get over myself."

 

Sam's mouth dropped open and he stared at Gabriel, trying to assimilate what he had just been told. "You, you like me?"

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and groaned. "Seriously! Did you think I hated you? I mean, I fucking hate Crowley, and there's the hate-fucking thing, but-"

 

"No, that's what I don't get," Sam interrupted. "You'll sleep with everyone else in the school. Like, what the hell am I? Defective?"

 

Gabriel's mouth fell open and he stared at Sam. "I, you, what?"

 

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Look, I don't give a shit, well, no, that's bullshit, I do, but I mean. Fuck, Gabe, if you don't find me attractive, there's shit I can do about that."

 

Gabriel's brain was whirring fast enough to give him a headache and any desire for alcohol was absolutely gone. Sam was still mumbling and blushing and trying to stutter his way through an explanation, but now, suddenly, things felt crystal clear in a way they hadn't before. "Question," Gabriel interrupted.

 

Sam snapped his mouth shut and glared at the couch fabric between them. "What?" he asked.

 

"Do you, uh, want me to blow you? Or kiss you, or whatever," Gabriel asked, trying to play it cool, even as he watched Sam blush, his cheeks turning dark red.

 

"I mean," Sam laughed a little and rubbed the back of his head. "It's not like I want to force you to blow me, or something. But you joke about how everyone in the school wants you, and well, fuck, I'm not immune to that, at all."

 

Gabriel blinked and stared at Sam, replaying that sentence in his mind a few times over to make sure he had it right. "So...you like me?"

 

"You're an asshole," Sam responded, smiling a little bit. "But you're a hot asshole, so yeah. I like you."

 

"And to recap," Gabriel said, clearing his throat, shifting on the couch. "You want me to blow you?"

 

Sam frowned and he looked at Gabriel. "I told you, I wanted to know why the fuck you would willingly blow-"

 

Gabriel moved, stretching across the couch to press a finger to Sam's lips. "Because they don't mean anything. It's hot, sure. But it is what it is. Nothing more." He cleared his throat and raised his eyes to Sam, hoping that he really, really was reading this right. "You'd be more."

 

Sam's eyes went wide and his lips parted a little against his finger and Gabriel had to fight down a groan. He stared at Sam and pulled his finger away. "You can respond, now."

 

Sam blinked and yanked Gabriel forward and into his lap, slamming their lips together with a groan, his fingers digging into the soft skin of Gabriel's thighs.

 

Gabriel completely lost himself in kissing Sam until the other teen pulled back and stared at him. He cleared his throat and smiled a little. "So, more?"

 

Sam nodded and grinned, pulling Gabriel in for another kiss. "Definitely more. And I want to see just how good you are with that mouth of yours."  

 

Gabriel poked Sam in the side, and grinned into the kiss. Good thing he was very, very good with his mouth.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: 
> 
> [Aria-Lerendeair ](http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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